Rambo (2008)

The critics are already slamming the new Rambo movie. You know what? FUCK THE CRITICS. Rambo is not for Film Critics. It's for Movie Fans. I never really cared much for critics anyway. They seem like a bunch of stick-in-the-muds.

I loved the 80's and I miss the films of that period. Teen opuses, slasher films and FX-heavy horror and, of course, action. It was a great time to be a young VCR owner and the drive-ins were still around. At least some of them were. Hardshell theaters also played a lot of exploitation fare. Movie fans loved the exploits of Chuck Norris, Charles Bronson and...Sylvester Stallone.

First Blood was the first Rambo movie and I liked it, despite it being a watery version of David Morrell's brilliant novel. And it was quite successful. But its sequel, Rambo: First Blood Part 2, blew away all expectations. People flooded to the theaters and it was a huge hit on home video. And there were dozens of imitators. The second sequel, however, didn't bring in the audiences or the praise that Rambo did.

Now, 20 long years later, Stallone is back with his tortured, war-hungry hero, Rambo. In a film with just the name at its title. And it's a whopper. My jaded eyes have rarely seen so much blood flying, limbs flying, heads rolling and explosions blasting.

While Rambo is shot in a modern style, its spirit is true to the 1980's. In fact, it's like the biggest, most glorious Golan Globus/Cannon film ever lensed. It's action packed, with delightfully corny dialogue and insanely implausible situations. Stallone acts brooding and tough, while saving some missionaries in genocide-ridden Burma. Forget plot or the human condition, Rambo 2008 is a pure drive-in flick. One that was made for popcorn, lots of beer and lots of cheering and applause from appreciative audience members.

Simply put, if you're laying your money down to see a movie called Rambo, this one will satisfy you. But then these critic-types don't pay to see the films and in most cases, they are far from the target audience for this sort of thing. Let them orgasm over current films like Atonement, Michael Clayton and The Great Debaters. Horror Drive-In readers can get their exploitation fix with Rambo.