Hot damn. Now this is the shit. Johnny Cash as a remorseless criminal thug, working with Vic Tayback on a bank hold-up. And when I say "Vic Tayback," I do mean "Mel," sex king from the 70s sit-com Alice, but back when he still had hair. Granted, it's not the Paul Lynde Halloween Special, but damn it, are you going to sit around moping, or are you going to get on with life?
Right out of the chute, you get Johnny mowing down a cop with a machine gun, his frazzled hair draped over his forehead, followed by a killer title theme by Johnny and Merle Travis over the opening credits. Then Johnny's holed up in a crappy motel room with his annoying girlfriend when he gets a phone call. Vic Tayback wants to meet with him to talk about a bank job. They meet at a bowling alley. It has overhead score displays, which is pretty snazzola for the early 60s. Real class. The joint is owned by Merle Travis, who is great as a slimy sycophant, trying to curry favor with Vic Tayback for a cut of the action. Vic is having problems with his game. He misses the seven on a nasty 1-7 split, so he's pissed and generally unpleasant to Merle Travis. Merle is his redneck bitch slave.
Johnny shows up with his slutty girlfriend, and him and Vic don't hit it off at first, so they figuratively compare penis sizes and toss out empty threats. After strutting their egos for a bit, the girlfriend is told to go wait in the car, and Vic reveals to Johnny that he wants to hold up the Harpers Federal Trust Bank. Johnny is skeptical at first, but Vic convinces him that if they kidnap a bank executive's wife, they can get a pass from the tight security, which purportedly is a notch or two beyond your typical Burt Mustin/Don Knotts scenario. Johnny is elated with the brilliance of Vic's plan, so he goes back to the shitty motel room, tells his girlfriend he's going to be rich, plays his guitar for her, and then shoots her. The corpse disposal isn't explained, but it's not like she was adding anything to the story anyway.
Vic and Johnny stake out the Wilson family's house. It's a suburban ranch affair, and Johnny talks about how much he hates the suburbs. Inside the house the Wilsons are bickering about their dismal lives. Mrs. Wilson is wearing curlers. Their son, played by Ronnie Howard, is eating whatever slop she's set on the table, and Mr. Wilson is getting ready for work. One of Mrs. Wilson's friends calls to try to railroad Mr. Wilson into heading up the PTA. Mrs. Wilson can't take Opie to baseball practice or some shit, because she's busy doing suburban Mom stuff. All is not well in the land of post-war kitchen convenience.
Mr. Wilson has been screwing around behind his wife's back, with a woman even more wretched than her, and he's chosen this morning to tell her, but the hectic drum beat of their deadening existences gets in the way, and he has to leave it for another day. They walk outside for him to leave, and Vic and Johnny, watching from down the street, notice that they have a kid. Johnny doesn't like that. Apparently he had some kind of incident with a kid, but no specifics are given. Vic still doesn't seem to realize that he's recruited a mental case for his master plan. Of course when you're using a bowling alley proprietor named Max for your job referrals, there are likely to be a few speed bumps.
After Mr. Wilson and Opie leave, Johnny walks up to the house and pretends to be selling guitar lessons. He works his way into the house, and the party begins. Most of the rest of the movie is Johnny abusing and tormenting Mrs. Wilson, and waiting for phone calls from Vic that will determine whether he kills her. He makes her take off her curlers and dress up real purty for him. He takes her to the bedroom and tells her "I like a messy bed," with his low, grumbling Mr. Ed voice. Johnny wants him some sweet stuff while he's waiting. He dances around the living room and smashes vases. He screams a lot when a buzzer goes off on the dishwasher. He's the nastiest sumbitch you will ever see in a movie with this kind of budget.
Eventually, Opie comes home unexpectedly, and Johnny freaks out, because he doesn't want to hurt any kids. Of course, that doesn't stop him from using Opie as a hostage and pointing a gun at his head. I guess everyone's ethical boundaries can be compromised in a pinch.
Not to give too much away, but in the end, the Wilsons reconcile, and they're shown in their convertible on their way to Vegas for a second honeymoon. Mrs. Wilson, fresh off a day of beatings and rape threats, promises her husband lots of hot sex. Best of all, she promises to wear the furry negligee that Johnny forced her to wear at gunpoint. Better stop off for lubricants, kids.
"Honey, remember that time the sociopathic redneck sexually assaulted me and then we rutted like teenage meth freaks into the night?" Ah, memories.
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