The first time I ever heard of Mystery Science Theater 3000 was in autumn 2007. This is weird because MST3K has such a history that I should've run into it sooner. Regardless, I'm a massive fan now. It's in my blood as well as the ingrained genes for eating pizza and drinking caffeinated soda. For those who don't know, Mystery Science Theater 3000 was a TV series, from the 80s and 90s, that specialized in making fun of old B-movies as they played out for the viewer's pleasure. Anything would do. Horror, sci-fi, fantasy, crime, juvenile delinquent, dance, Shakespeare, anything done cheaply for the screen fell under the show's hysterical scrutiny.

The premise of the show is that a mad scientist sends of a Joe Schmoe schlub into space and tries to drive him insane by forcing him to watch horrible movies. The only way our schlub keeps his sanity is by making fun of the movies with his wise-cracking robot pals Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot. The series started with the human played by show-creator Joel Hodson and then Mike Nelson finished out the second half of the original series. Making fun of the movies can come in any form, including pointing out plot holes, imitating the actor's voices, putting words in the characters mouths, throwing out random witty asides, or even ironically pointing out solutions for the clueless actors that any sensible person would think of. It's a rapid-fire approach and when done correctly, it makes for multiple viewings because it's easy to forget all the funny stuff. It was a brilliant approach, that in my opinion, recycled old movies, making them watchable. In a way, it's a kindness to old movies that could have been simply written off as garbage.

I'm going to dive into some memories from some of the horror movies they ragged on:

Werewolf-this 90s film has B-movie star Joe Estevez (brother of Michael Sheen). The premise is that archeologists find the fossilized remains of a skinwalker. Of course, somebody falls on the bones, scratches himself, and turns into a werewolf later and causes trouble. The movie is rife with bad acting, poor cinematography, idiot protagonists, and a gorgeous female lead who learned English to play her role and carries on with a conspicuous accent. There are tons of laughs in this one with Mike and the bots doing a memorable 50's style girl group musical number. "Oh werewolf, oh where's my werewolf?"

Touch of Satan-I've been meaning to watch this one again. It's about a dude who falls for a girl who turns out to be an old witch. One of the jokes that stood out to me is when Mike said something along of the lines of, "Hmm, this one smells of Clu Gulager. Crow, you're Clu Gulager detail!" "Right-o, Mike!"

The Brain that Wouldn't Die
-this episode is near and dear to me for being the first one I ever owned. The story involves an ambitious scientist who gets into a car accident with his girlfriend that accidentally decapitates her. Being a shady SOB, the scientist recovers her head, brings it back to life then spends the rest of the movie trying to find a body for her. Meanwhile, the girlfriend's head develops psychokinetic abilities and conspires with the hybrid monster that her boyfriend happened to create before the film started. One of my favorite lines in this one is when the scientist goes into a soliloquy about what he wants to accomplish and Crow remarks, "Well, at least he doesn't have delusions of grandeur."

It Lives By Night-a flick about a doctor bitten by a bat and becomes a vampire! This movie tries to be hauntingly poetic and it just doesn't work. Aside from this one being one of the earliest films Stan Winston ever worked on, this would have been long forgotten if Mike and his buddies didn't tear it a new one.


Manos: The Hands of Fate
: this one was an early episode and became a hallmark for MST3K fans for its badness. It's about a family that runs into a devil-worshiping cult. Let's not forget how weird, creepy, and socially awkward the evil servant Torgo is.

Soultaker: another Joe Estevez film, with its own share of bad acting. The premise is that there are beings who claim the souls of people when they die. At one point, we can see one of the characters standing on a highway and we only see his legs, so Mike calls out, "Leaktaker!"

Reptilicus: this one became the first episode of the newer MST3K Netflix series starring Jonah Ray as the human. The new series was off to a good start with this one about a giant reptile creature that was unearthed in Denmark and reconstituted itself. My wife connected a little more with this incarnation of the series since the jokes were more updated. A standout was when they imitated one of Jackie Gleason's characters (reused in the Simpsons) when a lookalike showed up in the film. "Yeeeeeess?"

The best MST3K episodes are a riot while the less-successful ones are enjoyable. Overall, it's some of the most fun I ever had.

P.S. It's also fitting to throw in MST3K this month since they have their annual Turkey Day marathon. Check it out.

Written by Nicholas Montelongo

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