Movies
Some motion pictures bring out raves from movie lovers like myself. Terms like genius. Masterpiece. Unforgettable. Classic. Briliant. Inspiring. These words are often used as hyperbole, but in certain cases it is dead on the money. Fairy Tales is one such instance.

Fairy Tales was written and produced by a very young Charles Band. How such an upstart, a mere pup at the age of 18 could have given us a movie like Fairy Tales is beyond me.

I first saw Fairy Tales on Joe Bob Briggs' Drive In Theater, on The Movie Channel. The show came on at 11:00 PM, on Saturday night, so I was normally well into my cups by that hour. I always looked forward to the show, but I wasn’t all that excited about fairy Tales. It sounded like an average, garden variety T&A cheesefest. Boy, was I wrong.

The plot of Fairy Tales (such as it is) deals with a prince that must begat a son before his 18th birthday or he loses the kingdom. The trouble is, the effeminate youth can’t seem to rise to the occasion with any of the ladies that are ready, willing and able. He gets the help of some assistants of the King, “sexperts”, who try to help the lad. He is guided through various fairy tale clichés, such as Little Bow Peep, The Old Woman in the Shoe, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, etc. The story is peppered with foot-tapping song and dance numbers as pimps and prostitutes try to help the lad achieve his manhood. It finally works when he meets up with lovely Linnea Quiggly, in her first movie.

Sounds dumb, I know, and it is a simple, foolish movie. Yet it has an innate charm that is irresistible to me. Having stellar performers like Sy Richardson and the inimitable Professor Irwin Corey in the cast doesn’t hurt matters either.

The ideal way to watch Fairy Tales is in an advanced state of inebriation. That’s the way I did it for the first time, and I sat there goggle-eyed, astonished at what I was seeing. The DVD is cheap too, only 10 bucks direct from Full Moon, or you can save a buck or two at Amazon. This is one movie you don’t want to miss.

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