The time has come to pay for another year of Horror Drive-In. I always say this, but I seriously considered letting it go this time.
You gotta understand: I've been doing this stuff for a long time. I started in 1998, when I became a member of Gorezone. I liked the close-knit community that was there. The passion for horror movies. It was a great bunch of guys, and some of them are still there. ARCVILE was and is the owner of the site, and he always did an impressive job of hosting his message boards and keeping the fans advised of news in the genre.
Soon I was given a forum of my own at Gorezone. We were at a domain called Horror.net at the time. My little book forum started off slowly, but before long became a beloved place for horror fiction aficionados to gather and talk about our mutual love of horror fiction.
The Horror.net days were unbelievably good. It's hard to express how great things were then. For the most part, the people I met there have remained lifelong friends of mine. Even if I seem to rarely speak to them these days.
Then, just as things were going so wonderfully, we lost the Horror.net domain. Without the slightest bit of warning. Things were iffy for a while, but we obtained the gorezone.net domain and were back in business.
My book forum at Gorezone rapidly became extremely popular. Before I knew it, it was the most popular and most-visited board in the genre.
It was different in those days. In the early '00 decade, there were not as many sites devoted to the horror fiction genre. Mine was far from the only one, but there weren't as many others as there is today.
It seemed like everyone came to the Gorezone Book Forum, and there were very, very few problems. Very few problems from within, that is.
The thing was, there were other boards at Gorezone. A main one for discussing film, and others dedicated to music, Italian horror, DVD, etc. The problems came from the moderators from some of the other boards.
They didn't like it that the Book Forum was an entity unto itself. We discussed music, film, everything under the sun. They wanted the Book Forum users to frequent the other boards for discussions about movies, music, and so on.
I asked the Book Forum users to do just that, but few were inclined to do so. One thing I learned from doing this stuff for so long is, you do not succeed by implementing a whole bunch of rules for your guests. No one likes to be told what to do. We have to put up with that shit at our jobs and from other authority figures.
Things came to a head when a couple of particularly repugnant pricks started crying about it. When you are dealing with inferior individuals, you find that they do not enjoy seeing success in others. Why they couldn't devote their time in improving their faltering little forums instead of trying to hurt mine was and remains a mystery to me. Then things really got bad when the Admin started talking about pulling threads from the Book Forum and placing them on other boards. Enough was enough.
Matt Schwartz, the owner of The Shocklines Bookstore was a Gorezone member, and had been rapidly becoming a close friend of mine. His store was doing well, and that was in no small part due to the support and enthusiasm of the Gorezone Book Forum. We talked of the issue and decided to throw in together. And so the Shocklines Community was born.
I want to hasten to say that while I will always hold certain parties from Gorezone in utter contempt, my admiration for ARCVILE remains solid. He was between a rock and a hard place and was in a no-win situation.
Yes, I was the moderator in the first couple of years of Shocklines. And it was a great place for quite a while. For me it was The Golden Age of the Small Press. It seemed like everyone was buying everything. It was a joyous and exciting time for the genre and the community.
Things probably got too big at Shocklines. Arguments started occurring at alarming rates. Individuals seemed to be intentionally provoking others. Endless political debates went on, with normally sensible people behaving like children. I started feeling disheartened about the whole thing.
And again, this is no disrespect toward Matt Schwartz. He always did the best he could. It's ridiculous to assume that anyone could act in ways that would please everyone. Many people questioned his decisions. Sometimes vehemently so. Yet Matt ran and still runs his board in the way he sees fit. That's his right and I respect it.
I was floundering and not feeling particularly happy about being at Shocklines. I liked most of the people there. Still do, in fact. But running such a large community that was part of a business (The Shocklines Bookstore) was more than I really cared to do anymore.
Then in 2005, the unthinkable happened. My brother developed a terminal illness. He was diagnosed and the prognosis was bad. Cancer of the liver and pancreas. The fast cancer. He had mere weeks to live.
The people of Shocklines helped me make the trip to see him and to say goodbye. I'll never be able to repay those people. Ever. When others have been in need, I've done my best to help them. At least when I was able to afford to do so.
Losing my brother was devastating, but it made me think about a lot of things. Think hard. Could something positive come out of it?
I always wanted to start my own place on the web. Just me. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow and my brother's illness was an acutely painful reminder of that. I thought to myself, Now is the time.
I've always loved drive-in theater, and of course I've always been a horror fan. So Horror Drive-In seemed a perfectly appropriate name for my website.
Horror Drive-In was launched in early 2006. This site was designed by Deena Warner Design. Deena had been my friend since the early days, and she did a magnificent job in creating this website.
A lot has happened in the ensuing years. My marriage collapsed and sent my life into a cesspool of despair. I tried to maintain a steady flow of book and movie reviews, but have done a pretty shabby job of it. With the help of my great friend Andy Monge, we started horror Drive-In Original Fiction, and we got original stories by some amazing writers. I even got one from my personal favorite writer, Bill Pronzini. That was an unparalleled honor.
Now here it is, five years later. It's been a tough road.
I'm burned out. I started out wishing nothing more than to be a positive influence on the genre. I think I have been. But I've grown bitter. Losing a family can do that to a man.
I hate some things that a lot of people really enjoy. I know I've pissed some people off by writing tirades against zombies, electronic fiction, television, superhero movies, summer, God knows what else.
It's a hard balance. I don't want this to be a Kumbaya fest. But I don't want to be an asshole either. People have told me that one reason they come here is to hear my opinions. And hell, what's wrong with disagreement? It would be pretty boring if we all held the same opinions. People disagree. Big deal.
And the Fiction thing. It's a lot harder than we thought it would be. We've fallen behind, and to be honest, we haven't gotten a whole heck of a lot of feedback about the last several entries. We've considered dropping the whole thing.
As for reviewing, please everyone, forgive me. I'm so far behind. Andy helped with this for a long time, but he got burned out. Imagine how I feel.
My time is limited. I have a demanding day job, I try to help keep the board rolling, I attempt to do new front pages when I can. I like to read, watch movies. Then there's my meager social life.
I do hope to get back to reviewing. Hopefully I'll get more help in 2011. I've accepted a lot of books and I feel really bad about not getting to review most of them. Believe me, it's not because I don't care.
So I got the notice that Horror Drive-In was up for renewal. Part of me, a big part, wishes to just let it go. It's not about the money, so please don't bring up sending contributions. It's just that it's been a long time since this site has given me the happiness that it used to give me. So why should I keep it?
I can go on about my own woes. Just like all of you. The last couple of years have been tough on most of us. You have your own tales of misery.
A lot of people visit this site. There is a core group that participate at the message board. I know that Horror Drive-In is an important part of their loves. Otherwise they would not be here. I get emails now and then. A while back some kid wrote me and said that Horror Drive-In helped him realize that he isn't alone in the world. His parents, teachers, so-called friends think that something is wrong with him. Believe me, I know all about how that is.
So maybe it's my duty to stay here. Writers need a place to hawk their fiction. Readers look for new books to buy. Publishers need a place to promote their projects. And, as I said before, people have flattered me by saying that they come to hear what I have to say.
Money is tight. Things haven't been good at my job and I've missed quite a bit of time lately. But I bit the bullet and paid up for another year of Horror Drive-In.
For about the millionth time, thank you to everyone that help make this site so great. I'm humbled that you have made it a part of your lives. I can't promise what the next year will bring, but I do promise to try to make it interesting.
You gotta understand: I've been doing this stuff for a long time. I started in 1998, when I became a member of Gorezone. I liked the close-knit community that was there. The passion for horror movies. It was a great bunch of guys, and some of them are still there. ARCVILE was and is the owner of the site, and he always did an impressive job of hosting his message boards and keeping the fans advised of news in the genre.
Soon I was given a forum of my own at Gorezone. We were at a domain called Horror.net at the time. My little book forum started off slowly, but before long became a beloved place for horror fiction aficionados to gather and talk about our mutual love of horror fiction.
The Horror.net days were unbelievably good. It's hard to express how great things were then. For the most part, the people I met there have remained lifelong friends of mine. Even if I seem to rarely speak to them these days.
Then, just as things were going so wonderfully, we lost the Horror.net domain. Without the slightest bit of warning. Things were iffy for a while, but we obtained the gorezone.net domain and were back in business.
My book forum at Gorezone rapidly became extremely popular. Before I knew it, it was the most popular and most-visited board in the genre.
It was different in those days. In the early '00 decade, there were not as many sites devoted to the horror fiction genre. Mine was far from the only one, but there weren't as many others as there is today.
It seemed like everyone came to the Gorezone Book Forum, and there were very, very few problems. Very few problems from within, that is.
The thing was, there were other boards at Gorezone. A main one for discussing film, and others dedicated to music, Italian horror, DVD, etc. The problems came from the moderators from some of the other boards.
They didn't like it that the Book Forum was an entity unto itself. We discussed music, film, everything under the sun. They wanted the Book Forum users to frequent the other boards for discussions about movies, music, and so on.
I asked the Book Forum users to do just that, but few were inclined to do so. One thing I learned from doing this stuff for so long is, you do not succeed by implementing a whole bunch of rules for your guests. No one likes to be told what to do. We have to put up with that shit at our jobs and from other authority figures.
Things came to a head when a couple of particularly repugnant pricks started crying about it. When you are dealing with inferior individuals, you find that they do not enjoy seeing success in others. Why they couldn't devote their time in improving their faltering little forums instead of trying to hurt mine was and remains a mystery to me. Then things really got bad when the Admin started talking about pulling threads from the Book Forum and placing them on other boards. Enough was enough.
Matt Schwartz, the owner of The Shocklines Bookstore was a Gorezone member, and had been rapidly becoming a close friend of mine. His store was doing well, and that was in no small part due to the support and enthusiasm of the Gorezone Book Forum. We talked of the issue and decided to throw in together. And so the Shocklines Community was born.
I want to hasten to say that while I will always hold certain parties from Gorezone in utter contempt, my admiration for ARCVILE remains solid. He was between a rock and a hard place and was in a no-win situation.
Yes, I was the moderator in the first couple of years of Shocklines. And it was a great place for quite a while. For me it was The Golden Age of the Small Press. It seemed like everyone was buying everything. It was a joyous and exciting time for the genre and the community.
Things probably got too big at Shocklines. Arguments started occurring at alarming rates. Individuals seemed to be intentionally provoking others. Endless political debates went on, with normally sensible people behaving like children. I started feeling disheartened about the whole thing.
And again, this is no disrespect toward Matt Schwartz. He always did the best he could. It's ridiculous to assume that anyone could act in ways that would please everyone. Many people questioned his decisions. Sometimes vehemently so. Yet Matt ran and still runs his board in the way he sees fit. That's his right and I respect it.
I was floundering and not feeling particularly happy about being at Shocklines. I liked most of the people there. Still do, in fact. But running such a large community that was part of a business (The Shocklines Bookstore) was more than I really cared to do anymore.
Then in 2005, the unthinkable happened. My brother developed a terminal illness. He was diagnosed and the prognosis was bad. Cancer of the liver and pancreas. The fast cancer. He had mere weeks to live.
The people of Shocklines helped me make the trip to see him and to say goodbye. I'll never be able to repay those people. Ever. When others have been in need, I've done my best to help them. At least when I was able to afford to do so.
Losing my brother was devastating, but it made me think about a lot of things. Think hard. Could something positive come out of it?
I always wanted to start my own place on the web. Just me. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow and my brother's illness was an acutely painful reminder of that. I thought to myself, Now is the time.
I've always loved drive-in theater, and of course I've always been a horror fan. So Horror Drive-In seemed a perfectly appropriate name for my website.
Horror Drive-In was launched in early 2006. This site was designed by Deena Warner Design. Deena had been my friend since the early days, and she did a magnificent job in creating this website.
A lot has happened in the ensuing years. My marriage collapsed and sent my life into a cesspool of despair. I tried to maintain a steady flow of book and movie reviews, but have done a pretty shabby job of it. With the help of my great friend Andy Monge, we started horror Drive-In Original Fiction, and we got original stories by some amazing writers. I even got one from my personal favorite writer, Bill Pronzini. That was an unparalleled honor.
Now here it is, five years later. It's been a tough road.
I'm burned out. I started out wishing nothing more than to be a positive influence on the genre. I think I have been. But I've grown bitter. Losing a family can do that to a man.
I hate some things that a lot of people really enjoy. I know I've pissed some people off by writing tirades against zombies, electronic fiction, television, superhero movies, summer, God knows what else.
It's a hard balance. I don't want this to be a Kumbaya fest. But I don't want to be an asshole either. People have told me that one reason they come here is to hear my opinions. And hell, what's wrong with disagreement? It would be pretty boring if we all held the same opinions. People disagree. Big deal.
And the Fiction thing. It's a lot harder than we thought it would be. We've fallen behind, and to be honest, we haven't gotten a whole heck of a lot of feedback about the last several entries. We've considered dropping the whole thing.
As for reviewing, please everyone, forgive me. I'm so far behind. Andy helped with this for a long time, but he got burned out. Imagine how I feel.
My time is limited. I have a demanding day job, I try to help keep the board rolling, I attempt to do new front pages when I can. I like to read, watch movies. Then there's my meager social life.
I do hope to get back to reviewing. Hopefully I'll get more help in 2011. I've accepted a lot of books and I feel really bad about not getting to review most of them. Believe me, it's not because I don't care.
So I got the notice that Horror Drive-In was up for renewal. Part of me, a big part, wishes to just let it go. It's not about the money, so please don't bring up sending contributions. It's just that it's been a long time since this site has given me the happiness that it used to give me. So why should I keep it?
I can go on about my own woes. Just like all of you. The last couple of years have been tough on most of us. You have your own tales of misery.
A lot of people visit this site. There is a core group that participate at the message board. I know that Horror Drive-In is an important part of their loves. Otherwise they would not be here. I get emails now and then. A while back some kid wrote me and said that Horror Drive-In helped him realize that he isn't alone in the world. His parents, teachers, so-called friends think that something is wrong with him. Believe me, I know all about how that is.
So maybe it's my duty to stay here. Writers need a place to hawk their fiction. Readers look for new books to buy. Publishers need a place to promote their projects. And, as I said before, people have flattered me by saying that they come to hear what I have to say.
Money is tight. Things haven't been good at my job and I've missed quite a bit of time lately. But I bit the bullet and paid up for another year of Horror Drive-In.
For about the millionth time, thank you to everyone that help make this site so great. I'm humbled that you have made it a part of your lives. I can't promise what the next year will bring, but I do promise to try to make it interesting.
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