The Susperia Remake

There has been talk about a remake of Dario Argento's masterpiece, Susperia, for a long time. Well, now it seems as though it's going to happen. Much to the chagrin of the serious horror fans out there.

I honestly don't see what the fuss is about. Susperia is, like all Argento films, controversial. Many like myself think it's brilliant. One of the greatest and most artistic horror films ever made. Others either despise or do not understand Dario Argento's style. I can understand.

The truth is, whether you love or hate Susperia, nothing will ever take a thing away from what it is. Susperia will retain its historical significance regardless of any remake. It doesn't matter if the remake is good or if it is a travesty.

There's another thing that's true of Susperia or nearly any other foreign movie: The vast majority of American audiences will never see it. Of course we all know about Susperia. Ask Joe Blow out there in the street or in line at the DMV. They'll look at you like you have three heads.

Susperia is a fascinating, visually striking movie. I said before that I think it's one of, if not the, most artistic horror movie ever made. I think that in the right hands a sequel could be really good.

The director that is currently attached to the Susperia remake is David Gordon Green. This guy has made some really interesting films, not the least of which is his adaptation of Stewart O'Nan's Snow Angels. Gordon also made Pineapple Express, a movie I have mixed feelings about, despite my affection for Judd Apatow productions. And, sadly, Green's current film is Your Highness, which looks to be the most cretinous movie since Year One. Is it just me, or is Danny McBride one of the unfunniest actors in Hollywood?

You gotta ask yourself why a director that has made such thoughtful movies as Undertow,and All The Real Girls would take on a project as loathsome as Your Highness appears to be? Or why he would make a remake at all?

The answer is, of course, because Hollywood movie making is a business. The amount of money that goes into an average production is astronomical. So much is at stake. So, naturally, the investors want to take the easy road. Take a tried and true concept and run with it. I don't necessarily like it either. You think I wouldn't rather see David Gordon Green helm an adaptation of a Robert McCammon or Joe R. Lansdale novel?

The fans are up in arms, but you can easily judge the mentality involved when you see someone write that a remake of Susperia is 'gay'.

The question is, Why can't they make a new, original project? Why indeed.

Who's to blame here? David Gordon Green? The producers? Hollywood in general? Or the ticket-buyers? Yeah, it's the people, kids mostly, that buy tickets. They're the ones that dictate the state of the industry. In fact, you can blame me. I'll take the heat. I see remakes, even if I definitely don't like them all. I defend them sometimes.

And the main thing is, if you don't like remakes, don't see them. And most definitely DO get out and see the original (such as they are) horror movies that are released. Right now Insidious is playing. Have you seen it? Waiting for the DVD is not the way to support the kind of movie you want to see produced.