FEATURED CREATURE: "Over 45 different species of shark..." although we, the audience only actually witness about five species. Go figure.
THEATRICAL REVIEW (Rated PG-13)
Ultimately the most ridiculous and nonsensical movie of summer 2011, SHARK NIGHT 3D can be an entertaining thrill ride—provided you aren’t throwing your popcorn at the screen in disbelief.
The movie starts off with gory opening credits set to industrial music heavier than anything you’d every hear on the radio. It's actually a pretty nifty start, as the audience gets to see some cool shark footage; the letdown is that the soundtrack is darker in tone than anything in the actual movie. The credits shift into an obvious JAWS homage in which a bikini-clad blonde is dispatched by a shark while her boyfriend is distracted--by playing his rock music too loud. (This happens again when a distress flare is ignored by a Sheriff sitting in his squad car...playing heavy metal too loud.) Still, JAWS' opening scene is executed with much more flair...and for a movie called "Shark Night", why does the first kill take place in blaring sunlight? JAWS put the viewer is the water after midnight, letting the darkness create suspense to hide the shark; SHARK NIGHT gives us bright sunlight and bad editing. What else does it give us? Let's see...
This is a movie where the black guy gets attacked first.
This is a movie where, almost magically, still no one gets cell phone reception. (A fact they repeat twice.)
This is a movie where (admittedly bad CGI) sharks ram boats, and can swim faster than jet skis. They can also launch themselves (practically fly) out of the water, directly at the audie—ahem, victim.
This is a movie where “over 45” species of shark roam around a lake...because an “ocean overflow” during Hurricane season caused them to swim into it. First of all, what ocean on this earth has OVER 45 DIFFERENT SPECIES of shark just swimming close to shore, waiting to be washed into unsuspecting lakes? (Remind me never to go to that beach.)
It makes this reviewer’s head hurt just trying to make sense of the movie...as a potential viewer, it would actually just be much better to sit back and watch the (actually decent) actors get picked off in typical intensity-free PG-13 ways, one by one. Sara Paxton (THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT), Katherine McPhee (American Idol?!?), Dustin Milligan (SLITHER) and Joel David Moore (AVATAR, HATCHET) lead the pack, and all do capable jobs. Nobody really stands out, but they all manage to look scared enough. Moore also manages to do his "comedic sidekick" thing for about the 537th time in a movie, too.
So who will survive Shark Night? Anyone who manages to stay after the credits, watch the 3D rap video, and still say they had fun. No, seriously.
GRADE: C
*NOTE: Once again, Director David R. Ellis proves he sucks at 3D. It was just gimmicky and pointless in THE FINAL DESTINATION, and it's just as gimmicky and pointless here. I've seen AVATAR, now I expect some good depth with my 3D--not some stupid shark randomly jumping out of the water. SHARK NIGHT, sans a handful of shots, completely lacks any sort of depth in its 3D. Whereas RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE had it's gimmicks, it gave us good depth. So did FRIGHT NIGHT. Good horror movies in 3D can be done! This just isn't it.
THEATRICAL REVIEW (Rated PG-13)
Ultimately the most ridiculous and nonsensical movie of summer 2011, SHARK NIGHT 3D can be an entertaining thrill ride—provided you aren’t throwing your popcorn at the screen in disbelief.
The movie starts off with gory opening credits set to industrial music heavier than anything you’d every hear on the radio. It's actually a pretty nifty start, as the audience gets to see some cool shark footage; the letdown is that the soundtrack is darker in tone than anything in the actual movie. The credits shift into an obvious JAWS homage in which a bikini-clad blonde is dispatched by a shark while her boyfriend is distracted--by playing his rock music too loud. (This happens again when a distress flare is ignored by a Sheriff sitting in his squad car...playing heavy metal too loud.) Still, JAWS' opening scene is executed with much more flair...and for a movie called "Shark Night", why does the first kill take place in blaring sunlight? JAWS put the viewer is the water after midnight, letting the darkness create suspense to hide the shark; SHARK NIGHT gives us bright sunlight and bad editing. What else does it give us? Let's see...
This is a movie where the black guy gets attacked first.
This is a movie where, almost magically, still no one gets cell phone reception. (A fact they repeat twice.)
This is a movie where (admittedly bad CGI) sharks ram boats, and can swim faster than jet skis. They can also launch themselves (practically fly) out of the water, directly at the audie—ahem, victim.
This is a movie where “over 45” species of shark roam around a lake...because an “ocean overflow” during Hurricane season caused them to swim into it. First of all, what ocean on this earth has OVER 45 DIFFERENT SPECIES of shark just swimming close to shore, waiting to be washed into unsuspecting lakes? (Remind me never to go to that beach.)
It makes this reviewer’s head hurt just trying to make sense of the movie...as a potential viewer, it would actually just be much better to sit back and watch the (actually decent) actors get picked off in typical intensity-free PG-13 ways, one by one. Sara Paxton (THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT), Katherine McPhee (American Idol?!?), Dustin Milligan (SLITHER) and Joel David Moore (AVATAR, HATCHET) lead the pack, and all do capable jobs. Nobody really stands out, but they all manage to look scared enough. Moore also manages to do his "comedic sidekick" thing for about the 537th time in a movie, too.
So who will survive Shark Night? Anyone who manages to stay after the credits, watch the 3D rap video, and still say they had fun. No, seriously.
GRADE: C
*NOTE: Once again, Director David R. Ellis proves he sucks at 3D. It was just gimmicky and pointless in THE FINAL DESTINATION, and it's just as gimmicky and pointless here. I've seen AVATAR, now I expect some good depth with my 3D--not some stupid shark randomly jumping out of the water. SHARK NIGHT, sans a handful of shots, completely lacks any sort of depth in its 3D. Whereas RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE had it's gimmicks, it gave us good depth. So did FRIGHT NIGHT. Good horror movies in 3D can be done! This just isn't it.
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