August 13, 1993

It had been four years since the last Friday The 13th sequel, and I was quite excited to see the Sultan of Slaughter return to the big screen. I wasn’t completely sold on the idea of New Line venturing to Crystal Lake, but beggars can’t be choosers.

Waiting for the film, I remember when Fangoria spoiled the film’s big reveal. I can recall their poster of Freddy’s glove reaching out to grab the hockey mask. Did it ruin the film for me? It certainly didn’t douse my desire to see it, I can tell you that. If nothing else, it only fueled my enthusiasm. The film destroyed its own self upon impact.

When opening night rolled around, I was first in line to buy my ticket. I went alone, as my wife was out of town, and that was just fine and dandy with me. The Triple Gold Theater was packed that night, and I was so glad to see so many fans were still pouring out to support a film that was on its eighth sequel.

One of the fans was a 13-year-old boy named Andrew. While I was perusing the lobby, checking out upcoming movie posters, he ventured over to me and started up a conversation. He knew me from the comic shop and I always liked the kid. Unfortunately, four years later he would be convicted of murdering another teenager for the mere sum of forty dollars. He’s still in prison.

I finally made my way inside the auditorium, picking myself a good seat. Finally, after what seemed like an agonizing long time, the film started.

I’ve always been a fan of the beginning. When the Friday The 13th series first began, I can recall my friends and me discussing the only way to stop Jason Voorhees. One of those ways was to blown him up. Well, wouldn’t you know it but Jason Goes To Hell ventured down that avenue. I was elated. Now, if only the rest of the film had been as good. I still maintain that if the beginning of the film had been the end, I would’ve been pleased with the demise of the Sultan. Oh well, huh?

Anyways, after the opening, someone shouted out in the crowd: “What are they going to do? Sew him back together?” That might not have been a bad idea after witnessing the train wreck that was to follow.

Though I’m not a fan of the film, I stayed to watch it a second time. I didn’t have anybody at home waiting for me, so why not kill time at Crystal Lake? Even if it was the Sultan jumping bodies and giving us only a few screen minutes of the hockey-masked maniac?

Another good crowd piled into the theater for the second showing. This time, I was seated next to an ex-girlfriend of mine from high school. I recognized her, and I’m sure she did me, but she never muttered a word to me. Well, well, huh? I got her good, though. When the film ran to its big Freddy reveal, I nudged her with an elbow and told her what was going to happen. Am I a bastard? I sure am.

Finally, after being exposed to Jason Goes To Hell twice, I was ready to go home. I got up from my seat and made my way back into the lobby. Even before I reached the exit doors, I could see that the parking lot was swarmed with police cars. It appeared as if a gang had invaded the theater and busted out the windows of quite a few cars. Fortunately, I had parked right in front of the theater and my vehicle was spared. Still, I’ll never forget the people who were wounded by having their windshields destroyed. I really felt for them.

Back home, I tried to forget about Jason Goes To Hell. I revisited the original film and felt good about it. Still, had I known it was going to take so long for another Friday The 13th sequel; I might’ve been more generous to part nine. Okay, maybe not. It’s a bad film, and I still don’t enjoy it to this day. I’ll forgive it for that beginning, though. I like that.

However, it would be quite a long wait to Jason X. But, I was first in line for that one, too. And I’ll be back with a report on it before too long. Until then, what about that awful line muttered by Creighton Duke: “Remember me?” If you knew the backstory to the film, that Jason had killed the bounty hunter’s girlfriend, the line made sense. Otherwise it left one scratching their head much like the entire mess that is Jason Goes To Hell.

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