My Favorite Piece of Hate Mail

I'm surprised I have not received more hate mail. I've gotten some here and there, and there has been grumpling on message boards and social media about some thing I have said. People have been pissed about the way I ran various forums. But actual hate mail? Not a lot.

I speak my mind, and I sometimes say things that ruffle feathers. I can be critical and I don't always ahere to the accepted ideas of the horror community. That's why I am not the most popular "influencer" in the arena.

People were unhappy about things I've said about the beloved Star Wars franchise. Some took great exception to my dislike of comics. I never understood that. Everyone from CEOs to street gangsters wear superhero attire. Who cares if a middle-aged book-obsessed machinist doesn't like that stuff?

The biggest offense I ever committed was to say Kevin Smith movies suck. This was a long time ago, and I try not to be as bluntly offensive these days. Yes, I do not like Smith movies. Clerks was all right, in a grungy, grimy, juvenile way. It was never a favorite, but I admired the way he pulled it off on a shoestring and got it distributed. Then came Mallrats, which I loathed. I found the whole thing to be crass. That kind of puerile humor isn't for me. Chasing Amy was a step up, but I found all the characters to be distasteful and unlikable. The Jay and Silent Bob shtick never really worked for me.

Big deal. So I don't like your favorite director. I like a lot of things others can't stand, like Woody Allen movies, brat pack fare, The Blair Witch Project. I've been informed that, in no uncertain terms, these things all suck. What do I care? I'm sorry for people who haven't even seen The Purple Rose of Cairo.

My explosive Kevin Smith comments started a furor. Aging Gen-X slackers broke out the tar, feathers, and nooses and came after my virtual hide. It was all pretty funny, even while I now regret upsetting people.

I got some inflammatory emails, but one stood out from the rest. It was from someone I did not know and had never heard of. The email consisted of one sentence, and I present it here as I received it:

i pidy you motherfucker

This may not seem funny to you, but I laughed myself sick. The hysterics would recede and then I would look at it again and explode into more convulsions of laughter.

Intentionally pissing people off isn't cool, and I didn't really mean to do that. I gave my opinion and it blew up way out of proportion. You may not have noticed, but people can have very strong reactions on the internet. I try to be more diplomatic these days, while still being as honest as I can, but I still think fondly back to the barely literate individual who pidied this motherfucker.


Written by Mark Sieber