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Topic: Divorce (Read 362 times)
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MarkSieber
Administrator
Dead By Dawn
Posts: 17232
It Looks Just Like A Telefunken U47
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Divorce
« on: March 02, 2010, 02:50:26 PM » |
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I received the papers for divorce from Tanya today. Though I expected them, it still cut me deeply.
I never meant for it all to go bad, and despite the many problems we had, I'd have stuck it out. And yes, much of the fault was mine. Not all, certainly, but some.
It hurts to be thrown away like a piece of garbage after ten years of marriage. I'd have done anything to save it. Anything except quit my job and move to North Carolina. I was afraid to leave the security of my position. Would it have saved the family? I'll never know.
One of my biggest fears is to grow old and be all alone. I had hoped that I had someone to love for the rest of my life, but now things look pretty grim.
I'm going to try to get back into gear here and start reviewing again. It's incredibly difficult to care about anything at a time like this. They say time heals all wounds, but I've only felt continually worse. Especially seeing it written out in cold black and white and in hard legal terms.
Everyone says that they're sure things will pick up for me. I'm not so sure. I know that I'm kind of a weirdo.
On top of it all, things are really frightening at work. Word is there isn't enough money to cover payroll. I want to go see my precious India this coming weekend, but part of me wants to stay here and sit on this week's pay. If it comes in. I'm also worried about next week's pay. And the week after.
I had some old friends over all last weekend and it was a lot of fun. But it also feels kind of hollow. I'm not ready for another live-in lover, but I'd like to have a lady to take out to eat and to the movies and stuff. Hopefully one day it will happen.
Thanks to everyone for being my friend.
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It Looks Just Like a Telefunken U47
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RyanCThomas
Dead By Dawn
Posts: 701
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Re: Divorce
« Reply #7 on: March 03, 2010, 04:01:45 PM » |
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Sorry to hear it, Mark. I don't know divorce but I know heartache. I still think about my ex fiancee a lot. I thought we'd last forever. I dunno, I like to think the last three years have healed me, and they definitely have, but I still have my bad days. It doesn't compare to ten years, but I know the pain and sudden rush of loneliness. I actually posted here the other night about this and then deleted it. I haven't had anything steady in almost three years, and every time I find someone I really like they dump me in two months (yes, even my recent 21 yr old dumped me). I've gotten to the point I'm just gonna concentrate on other things....writing books, my band, saving enough money to open my own bar (my dream). Then I'll revisit my life in 5 years and see what happens. Times are changing anyway, and most of my friends are still single as well. Frigging girls looking for a millionaires or a pool boy model thanks to the media--that's my theory anyway.
But hang in there, get on here and talk if you need to. I think there are enough of us out there (and surely more so than me) who have dealt with this if you need to vent.
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